How do I stop my thinking self from sabotaging my connection with my true nature?

There are times when I really feel connected with life. I see the opportunities for love, I walk through my life with confidence and I am in touch with something calming and reassuring that to call it God would diminish any previous concepts of I have had of a higher power.

But no sooner do I start to think thoughts or to speak about this it seems to go in an instant. It is clear to me that somehow the door closes. All I want then is to connect again but it is like I have no choice but to go through the motions and I really get tied up in not accepting my present state.

Do you understand this? If so is it possible to find my way back or is growth about 3 steps forward and two backwards.

this seeing is very advanced and very rare.
you already notice, that whenever thoughts come in, then freedom and inner peace is disturbed. whenever mind comes in (it is either dragging you towards hanging round in the past memories or making up some theisis, some theories in the future) then, it SEEMS that we are separate from our self, true self, divine nature.
but the truth is, you can never be separate from what you are. how could you?
this belief "i am separated from my freedom, from the self" itself is just a thought.
so it is all about understanding the mind and its functionings. it is about understanding the ego mind.

i invite you to chat with me about this on msn or skype. write to me, i will send my ID to you.

you are close to waking up from the dream/ illusion. this is wonderful. don't stop questioning, asking, inquiring until all layers (of doubts, desires, fear) are pealed off and you come to a point where you are "at home" eternally.

Maybe God is calling you to grow beyond that "feeling" phase of your spirituality.

Maybe He is calling you to *know* you are connected to life and not to rely on a feeling to prove that to yourself.

Maybe He wants you to take opportunities for love, walk with confidence, be calm and assured out of a knowledge that you're strong enough to do so, not because a feeling spurs you on to do it.

Maybe He wants you to know that whatever concept you (or I or anybody) have about Him are going to get improved on all your life.

It's possible that what you are now seeing as those 2 steps backwards are really 2 giant leaps forward into unfamiliar territory.

I think I understand what you mean and it's a very good question. I really do think meditation helps with this. It helps you feels a part of the larger whole. Try it if you haven't already.

If you are a Christian then you are certainly near to the Kingdom of God. However, life is a struggle, especially to the Christian. I think you have to recognise there are three enemies which try to take you away from God. They are: the devil, the world and the self, the unholy trinity you may say. Try as you may, there is not much you can do to reverse that. The only way is to rely on the power of Jesus!

I see that you desire peace, and peace seems to co relate to your understanding of your relationship to God. I think that this is accurate in what you say. But what you seem to be not indicating is the way to have peace with God. The way to have peace with God is through Jesus Christ. So not a generic god, but the God who sent His Son, Jesus Christ.

It sounds to me that God is trying to have you understand that this is the way to have peace with God. He is offering it to you, but because of lack of knowledge, you are refraining from getting it.

Jesus is called the Prince of Peace because he had provided the way to peace through Him. So peace with God is obtained through His Son, Jesus Christ.

If you have any other questions about this, please e-mail me.

The individual's daily walk with Christ is uniquely different from any other person's walk. But, I'll share a few of me own:
1. I, personally, have to start my day on my knees. Not long,
usually 5-10 minutes in prayer; like King Solomon, I
knowledge.
2. Upon getting up from my knees, I play and sing christain
songs in me head, like background music, which continues
to play all day long. This helps me to stay on singing
praises unto Him continually, thus when tempted, I am
forced to stop playing the mental music and make a
choice. Which having been only momently removed from
His presence in music, I am able to remain calm and do
the right thing, which is choose, "What whould Jesus do?"
the correct decision.
3. Periodically throughout the day, like 15 minute breaks at
work, I spend more time on me knees. I am requesting,
again, wisdom but also strength, comfort, and peace.
4. I end my day with 1 hour of devotion. Lately, I have done
more praying than studying; I request a humble spirit, which
is the type of spirit one needs in order to be teachable.
5. I am planning in the near future to request other character
traits, i.e. honor, integrity, morality, honesty, humility,
Agopa Love for humanity, forgiving spirit, God's ability to
forget once I extend forgiveness, a giving spirit, etc.......
You must choose your own game plan, but I must share with you that it is absolutely the greatest methodology and/or way to live one's life!
Enjoy.

I agree with Tat Vam Asi.