I think my dad is cheating?!?

OK 3 weeks ago my dad like left. And he is NOT willing to get counseling or help or anything!!! (Im 12) My mom on the other hand is willing to do ANYTHING to save their marriage. I am abused my both my mom and dad-but mostly by my mom, but now, she is all I have. I still see my dad, ALOT, too much that it is cutting into my social life! Anyway, during the past few years, things havent been SO great at my house. And like 4 days ago I was looking on my dads blackberry : 搂 )) and I saw these messages from this lady. And Ive seen her name before-when I was also looking on his phone. And the other times I just saw like a bunch of calls to her and from that same lady. But, when I saw these messages, I FREAKED OUT.....!!!!!
#1 from my Dad- Goodnight looking forward to seeing you in the AM, I love you.
#2 from my Dad- Am looking forward to not sleeping on this couch tonight

(BTW, he is SOPOSTOBE staying at his sisters house!!!)
I am soooooo scared and devastated!!! HELLPPPP!!! : ' ((

My parents have been married for 17 years I have been abused many times by both of them, they have had me and adopted my 7 year old sister!!!

he is an adult and so is your mom. you cannot deal with adult issues, leave all that to them. i know it is frustrating but THEY need to sort this out, not you.

get a good nights sleep finally and let your parents be adults and deal with your marriage, they are still you parents no matter what but if you are seriously being abused they you have to tell a counselor or the police.

Ok, you are the "child" it is not for you to sort out.
Jumping onto sides does not help.
I think if you mention it to your dad you need to let him know your worried about him.
Telling your mum will make it hit the fan big time.
Talk to your dad tell him you think he should let your mum know whats happening. Its not your job to say anything but you feel like you should.
Parents do sometime fall out of love and i think your old enough to know its not your fault.
Talk to friends or family if you feel like your not coping but i do think by telling your dad what you saw will take some pressure off you
Good luck hun

Wow maybe he is cheating but hang in there things will get better. And maybe your dad is cheating but now this will make you and your mom closer because now she will realize that you are all she has too. And maybe she wont beat you anymore. Also you should probably tell your mother aout the messages.

Lots Of Luv

Oh honey....there is nothing you can do or say to change what is happening with your parents. You will just have to watch and learn and hopefully not make the same mistakes someday yourself. I'm sorry you are going through this. Grownups are just kids in bigger bodies (sometimes) and they do not always do what is right or what they are supposed to (just like kids). Start a journal now, and write down all of your hopes, your fears, your thoughts....you will need it to help you get through the times ahead. Know that they love you no matter what, and know that you will get through this...and EVERYONE will eventually be happier. I promise.

Parents don't always make the best choices. No one comes with a hand book on them...not you or your parents. My best suggestion is talk to your mother about it. Tell her what you think and ask her the questions you need answers to. Or get a family relative that is close with your parents to talk to. If there is no one then talk to a school counselor, yes, they may be lame to you at your age but they can certainly help you with your home life. It must be a confusing time to you and I hope that you can let your parents work things out on their own.....not a good idea to be looking at personal messages of your parents....you may be seeing things that you can yet understand or are aware of.....just be a kid and let them figure it out and talk to someone in the meantime......It will be ok and things will work out for the best in the long run.....Good luck honey, but talk to someone close to you soon, strangers can't always give the best advice when they don't know ALL the personal details and they may stear you in the wrong direction.

If you are still seeing your dad then your mom is not all you have. It does sound like he is having an affair, but you can not stop him. It really sounds like they will divorce. I'm afraid none of us can stop that, no matter how much we would like to. If you have any close friends whose parents are divorced, it might be a good idea to talk with them about how it works. It will probably not be as bad as you think.

Sad to read this especially from young childeren like you.

Alright u can fix this tell ur mom and dad that ur getting disturbed by there behaviour, tell them to think about ur future

Tell ur dad its not right to cheat mom what would be his reaction if ur mom does so.

i know its hard for a 12yr old to speak so boldly that too with parents, but u have too.

Go ahead and best of luck.
Hope evrything gets Ok.

Ameen.

you know life throws things at you in so many ways and it may not be meant for your mom and dad to stay together and i'm so sorry that you've been abused in your lifetime, but things does get better so take it one day at a time and you will see god will take care of you and the issues at hand.

Honey if you are still seeing your Dad alot then he is not leaving you, he is leaving your mother. You can not do anything about what he chooses to do. If he is not willling to get help to save the marriage then he is over that part of his life. He has moved on and you can only hope that this woman will take good care of him. I do like you saying that they abuse you. Abuse you how?? You need to talk to a school counsler or something. Good luck honey

This actually is happening to me :( I want to make my dad and mum come together again, i dont know wat to do as well :( but i dont hav an adopted sister.. tat's the only difference.. i am deprESSED!

google: coping with n abusive parent
to learn what you might do for your own protection

sorry that you have such rotten parents!

if you think your dad is cheating then you have kindof prepared your self for whats to come if your mom is hurting you tell a family member thats one way two help you and your mmom get over this large hill

I'm so sorry for the way you've had to live. You don't deserve to be abused, and no one should go out of their way to harm you.

It's NOT your fault... your parents have issues which they need to deal with, instaed of taking it out on you. Can you talk with your school guidance counselor for help and support? I hope you will consider that option...

It affects everyone when parents aren't getting along, and when one leaves the other. Your parents obviously have problems. And while these are not your problems, it does hurt you.

I hope your parents stop acting like they are children and grow up! The best thing you can do is to turn to an adult you trust and respect. You need someone who will listen, which is why i recommended a guidance counselor.

Hon, i sure hope things work out for you. I'm sending hugs.

Been there don that STAY OUT OF IT try not to know any thing at all.

P.S. don't take sides it will suck bad.

If you are seriously abused then you have to see for help (police?, I do not know). Since the atmosphere in your house is not so good as it could be, I advice you not to deal with your dad's life. Rather, think of that if they divorce with who do you want to live. You will see your other parent also, but you will live with one of them. If they do not divorce, then everything will remain as is now. So do not deal with the adult's life. It is too much complicated for you emotionally. (it is complicated for the adults, too). So deal with your 12 yo life.

to bad your only 12 your parents are going to do what they do so look out for #1