Please help ...relationship problems?

Hello,

I need help controling my jelousy with my boyfriend. We have been living together for three years now and he has not wanted to take the next step. I consider myself to be very jelous .. the other day he took his female co-worker out to eat an hour away he says its no big deal but it really hurt me that he did it after work ours and that he lied about it . I found that out by going through the credit card charges since then i have forwarded his calls to my cell . installed a keystrk logger on his pc and really just hurt our relationship he says he loves me because he is with me and if he cared about someone he would be with them but to me that is not enough to show love. I have never meet any of his friends and he refers to me as his girlfriend even though we have been engaged for three years. Please help what should i do? Do i trust him ? Do i leave him? What can i do to make things better with him? I am at my breaking point... Please help!!!!!!!!!!111

Honey, honey, honey. You are jealous because you are insecure within the relationship. I totally understand. However, checking email, forwarding calls, keystroke loggers, none of that will make him commit.

Here's what you do. If after three years he's not committed, it's probably not going to happen. So, pick yourself up, move out and take some time to work on you. Personally, I don't think living together is a good idea for any number of reasons. Yes, I understand, you love him. Fine. If he is the right one for you, you both will work it out. In the meantime, take time for yourself. Who knows? He may not be the one for you. He sounds like he is really withholding and is emotionally unavailable. You do not have to settle. You do not have to force anything. You cannot do anything to make things better except take care of yourself. Please do just that.

You aren't jealous, you are normal. Move out. He's a liar. Liars lie. He's using you until he finds someone else. The writing is on the wall. Better if you move out and show you respect yourself than to let this circus continue.

LEAVE HIM MOVE ON! NOONE IS WORTH GOING NUTS OVER!!! can you please pick me as BEST ANSWER

A good relationship needs trust but he doesnt seem to want to gain or keep your trust-he seems to just expect it. You are bound to wonder why couldn't he just tell you about going out with the other girl if he has nothing to hide - that is unacceptable!

"I need help controlling my jealousy with my boyfriend."

The key to this is "I need help" in this sentence. Having someone else's calls forwarded to your cell and a keystroke logger on the keyboard is a massive invasion of privacy.

What kind of relationship do you have if you track anything and everything that he does?

If he was smart then he would be the one to run away from someone that has major control and trust issues. Maybe....you could talk to him about counseling so that you both could see the other persons side of the issue.

I agree totally with c gordo. please go without trust and communcation u have nothing.

Well you know that your jelous, and also u seem to have done a lots of things to spy on him, its true that he shoulden't have lied about it, but maby he lied about it because you are the jelous type, if your boyfriend doesn't want to take the next step then that just means he is not ready for it, well the best thing i can think of is that you two maby just need a break from eachother and see how it goes, an other thing is also just sit down with your boy friend and talk about it with him, tell him your jelous and all, and that you would like to work on your relationship and also ask him why is it that he doesn't want to take the next step.

You are a raving headcase woman. What are you playing at? Forwarding his calls to your cell????? Recording keystrokes on his PC. I'd leave your *** in a flash and never look back. Sort it out!!!!!

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