I need help please?

I hate my ex. He told me he was going ot kill himself, often when we were together. He told me he only trusted meand wanted my help and would do something if I ever called the authorities..

Well...a year and a h alf later he leaves me sick in a hospital to be with another girl.

I have serioulsy battled this over and over in my head and I truly hate him for what he did to me. He told me he would kill himself with cyanide or he would do it sometime in the summer when school was out....he is a teacher.

I went thru hell with him. And fast forward a almost 2 yrs later I am still deeply effected by what he did to me. I called him and left him messaged crying, telling him what I think of him and what he did to me, but he does not respond. I fee like I am the crazy one now, and I mentally cannot deal with it. I want him to pay for what he did to me. I want him to suffer for it. It sounds horrible, but I went thru a horrible time and he left just like that. So much for suicide. He lied.

You are blaming him for how you're feeling & not taking any responsibility for yourself. You will never be able to control what other people think, feel or do. You don't even have control over how you think & feel. What you do have control over is how you respond. How you act & behave in response to your own thoughts, feelings & bodily sensations & in response to what other people say & do to you. Nobody can make you feel anything, you choose how to feel by the thoughts you create about the situation. Resenting others only eats away at you, it doesn't affect the other person, you are only punishing yourself while they continue to live their lives without a second thought about you-don't give them that power. You can sit & sob 'Why me?' 'What did I do to deserve this?' You can dwell on it & blame others, but are you going to do that forever? Where is your life headed while you continue to let other peoples actions depress you? You are letting the actions of others ruin your existence. Despite what happens to you, only you have the response-ability to choose how you behave in response to their actions & your own thoughts & feelings. Don't choose drink or drugs, they are a short term 'fix' which creates more problems in your life. Go to counselling to talk about how their behaviour has affected you, accept it, learn to let go of resentment & manage your anger, develop your self-esteem & confidence, learn new coping strategies, assertiveness, relaxation, goal setting, realise what you want out of life, develop your values & live your life in accordance to those values. I blamed the actions of others for destroying my life, I became an addict to cope with how others treated me-& who ended up with the crap life? Me!! & I was so close to ending my own life at 38, just 20 months ago, before I chose to fight back, now I have a brand new life-without the people that hurt me. My past is in my past, I live in the present moment & behave in ways that will get me where I want to go in the future. I'm currently studying for my Diploma in Counselling & my Cert IV in Drug & Alcohol work so I can help others also change their life. You can do it, one step at a time, one day at a time. I've recently joined Answers too & spend quite a bit of time trying to advise others through my experiences because I care about other people. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can enjoy the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy in life & you have the power to rise above those who tried to knock you down. Don't give up! Keep him out of your life for good. Good luck!

I can understand you still feel so betrayed and used, but it's better that he's away from you now rather. Such a dick shouldnt effect you, but it is. You should get on with life and find greater things, revenge and hate will just make you muddle and stick in the same depression you are in.

You want to get out of that, see a new outlook on life. Meet new people, see friends, get out. Forget about the ole guy. Youre a great women and a new you can emerge for someone actually deserving.

You might find a couple sessions with a therapist very enlightening and helpful - why not give it a try...

what he did to you was horrible thretning someone with your own life is probably one of the worst things you can do. ok i understand you want revenge and you probably wont feel right until you get back what he stole from you and the best way to do that is to show him that you dont need him the more you call him and leave him messages the more he will think you need him through that he gets his satasfaction because it shows he's made his mark in your life you need to remain strong for yourself and seriously gain your revenge through bettering yourself you are a better person that he is by far! get on with your life this is hard i know but treat him as though he is rubbish and deffinately show that you dont need him nor do you want him! i guarantee that this will help you as i said remain strong and do it for yourself!

Honey please forget about him he is not worth you and the way you explained him, he is the one who has issues. I understand you are pissed at him for what he did but beleive me you'll be fine and what goes around comes around. Smile Honey because KARMA is a BeOTCH when you piss her off.

Obviously, he played with your feelings and for me the greatest revenge for such is death, but I won't encourage you to do it.
I know how you feel now, and how desperate you are now. But, even if you think of something, and do it, and he is not affected, you'll become more frustrated, again and again, until you end up in a mental institution. Revenge will still back fire at you. We don't like those things to happen, right? So if you really feel awful right now, and you're bothered too much that you really want revenge, then I advice you to visit a psychiatrist. They can help you to forget about everything and move on with your life. Cause if you can move on, it will be the end of your emotional suffering. Good luck.

You don't need help,you've already been helped when that loser exited your life....what you need is a new perspective and some mind control..whenever you start to think of him.....crush the thought and put a pleasant positive thought in its place. You are reliving the grief over and over and punishing yourself therby STILL letting this jerk have free rent in your mind and still hurting you.put a stop to this madness and get out, meet some people,church,clubs,whatever and whatever you do,DON"T end up talking about him or what happened or how you were hurt........MOVE the heck ON.....quit living in the past,it's ruining yout present,and future.......grudges only hurt you and doen't bother him in the slightest......be glad you are rid of him now and not later...then all this would be oin your future!!!You are only deeply affected because you think and say you are.try reprogramming your thinking to be thankful you got sick so you could find out the real truth about this phony...now it's somebody elses problem.........wake up and smell the coffee, sweetie....youv'e been pardoned from this disturbed man.........

When someone you loved treats you badly and hurts you it can never come to any good, and it makes it hard to ever trust them again. You need to cut the ties with him, for good. He is using your sympathy and your feelings for him for his own advantage. He sounds as if he cares more for himself than for you, if he left you sick, for another girl! He wasn't there for you when you needed him the most, someone who really loves you wouldn't do that! He is manipulating you with his threats. He sounds very controlling. If he is going to kill himself, there's nothing you can do to stop him, unless you hold his hand all day and night. He put you through hell, don't be foolish enough to go there again. Don't let him drag you down. Put the past behind you. Avoid him at all cost. He's the one with the problem, don't make it yours. He needs psychological help. If he won't get it, you can't make him. Don't worry, he will pay, one day. What comes around, goes around, it's called Karma. Do yourself a favor and don't waste another precious moment of your life thinking about him. He's a sh*thead. Find yourself a good man! I know you're worth it!