Divorce lawyers, discovery, admissions, etc.?

Okay, my husband and I are getting a divorce. We started out wanting to do things really amicably, but after he started withholding information I needed to see, and got into a serious relationship with another woman since he moved out, I got myself a lawyer, and we set up a temporary hearing to get me temporary support (I qualify for that, not alimony), and sent his lawyer a request for discovery regarding financial issues, and questions revolving around the relationship.

I did not, however, realize just how much that would push it back. The list of questions and information we requested is fairly short and straight-forward, and I was led to believe it could be done a LOT more quickly than it can be, apparently.

He called me and asked if I would withdraw it, if he voluntarily provides the information I need, and signs the temporary order immediately. That would open us up for getting this done in the coming days, which I'm okay with doing, as long as I have that info.

Am I an idiot for considering this? I had been actively involved with finances and stuff, and actually filled out all the stuff to GET him enrolled in the 401k, etc. I don't want to draw this out, and didn't realize that's what I was doing.

I don't even know if I CAN withdraw it, or if it's just too late now.

So the actual question is, can I do this, and if he provides everything voluntarily, should I do it?

Shouldn't you ask your lawyer this question???

Chic, tell him to follow the rules, then when he says he has done it, you call your lawyer and say evthing is done. better yet, you deliver his stuff your lawyer. Dont take any bull from a lawyer sitting at his desk waxing the dolphin.

I wouldn't withdraw anything. Just keep doing what you're doing sounds like you probably got a good lawyer. Truct their advice.

why not ask your attorney?

I know quite a few women who were smart enough to even think of and consider their 401K. They all get half at the guys retirement and if they don't out live them, they have it set up to go to their kids

Why not ask your attorney?

Better to let it take a while and not get shafted. Hubby can say what you want to hear and still withold info. I would not withdraw my request. You are paying your lawyer to enable you don't get short changed. so what if it takes a while. No one needs to be in a hurry to remarry. The time it takes will gie both of you time to get used to being single again. If her is hot and heavy with someone else he very well may be up to hiding assets too.

do what your lawyer suggests doing. being that the questions are probing a bit and he obviously doesn't want you or the lawyer to know things, that screams red flags. again, do what your lawyer tells you to do!

Listen closely: MAKE HIM ANSWER THE DISCOVERY under oath, signed and sworn to by him, as your attorney advised. You have one and only one shot through the issues in this divorce. There is absolutely no reason to rush it. If he wants it to go faster, he can get his answers written up signed before a notary and a copy over to your lawyer chop chop. Discovery is to make sure that he has under oath, provided you with all assets and information. You can then rely on his information given you, and if you find out later there are assets or other information that he didn't disclose, the fraud is on him, and you can ask the court to do something about it. Dont talk to him anymore about the legal case pending itself. You have an attorney now. That is what the attorney is for. Let the attorney make the decisions.