Would you like to read a loving daughters letter to her parents?

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?

Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambtious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you expressed tolerence will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too for I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,
Dorothy

Does that mean I don't have to pay your tuition anymore?

This is a mean thing to do to your parents.

....awesome.

lol omg im using that to my parents

That is hiliarious! What a way to put a spin on it and thanks for making me laugh so hard and boost my immune system today!

That is a wonderful heart felt letter! i really believed it at first! I am very gullible! i bet you almost had a heart attach when you red this the first time!

LOL! I am laughing so hard I am crying dear! Good one! Way to give us parents a hard time!

I love that!!! LOL

I got an email the other day it was supposedly from a teen girl that ran away from home. It was hilarious!!!

Your daughter must have forgotten to tell you about the "A" she got in '"Creative Writing."
Funny letter!

SORRY TO HEAR

Interesting perspective... I was having a panic attack there for a while... and a while... & a while!! LOL

NO...

Hugs and a star! Scoot

Suzie luv, I actually sent a similar one to my folks when I was in college - - - boy did I catch Heck for that! Funny funny - after a few days my father finally burst out laughing! That's what I am doing now. Thanks CJ

Yes I would. Though I would add that I wouldn't accept those grades as well as the rest of it. lol ty

That sounds like something my children would have wrote. I would have been waiting for the end. I probably would have skipped to the last paragraph. Then I would have said are you working somewhere to pay your tuition. HA HA

that is hilarious. my parents would never go for it though. I don't really think the fifth paragraph is funny, but i think it makes it seem more real. wowza. Plus if i didn't send letters or call, they would pretty much freak out and call the police. Anyway Dorothy gets five stars for her writing abilities. Maybe she should major in creative writing...

I woulda put this under parenting, but its soo funny it doesn't matter. Hahaha. just reread it. not as funny the second time. Only laughed for 10 minutes this time.

I liked it very funny.

Haha, funny one. But my mum would kill me.

lol WTF! This is so screwed up. Do you really want me to come and set your dorm on fire so you can fall in love with a dude from Africa working at a gas station?

Suzie if I had heard this from any one else I wouldn't have known, but it's just one of the other fantastic jokes of yours. Cute.

No, people's letters are private!

How is such a smart girl managing to get D-s and F-s? May be there is a boyfriend lurking somewhere, distracting her no end.........

Very creative Girl, nice preamble to offering up her grades.

What a relief! The scenario would give any parents grey hairs overnight, thanks!

if this letter was actually written wonder if the Lady had prepared herself for the consequences -- age and experience will always overcome youth and innocence also " paybacks are ----- ell "

That's cute! Good to have that proper perspective!

lol!!! another good one from you!! thanks......

Yes, I read it to the end, but the parents probably were both in cardiac arrest before they made it that far. Thanks, as always, for the laugh!

Appreciative the information and putting everything in proper perspective ---- does McDonald's have you working the counter or cooking ? By the way, your room is rented out to our new housekeeper. Lots o luck.

that was a good one >>thanks for the laugh>>

Thanks for the offer, but no

yeah.....here's the thing...
i'm not going to read that!


*awkward*...