It is like I am being pulled between two things.
I love to travel. In younger years I travelled around, met different people. It was just my dog and I, and the whole world. I was free to do as I pleased. I loved it.
Now, I am struggling between two things in my life:
1. Get a degree in journalism, learn to fly. Get a job as pilot in Alaska. Study about herbs, in my spare time, and just train my dog. Meet people, and write about life.
2. Go get my four year degree in business administrative. Join the USMC as a pilot. Continue to train dogs. Then when I get out after 8 yrs, settle down up north. I want to join the service because I have something to prove to myself, and I think it would be awesome to fly. I know this would be the responsible thing to do. However, I am scared I would lose that FREE feeling inside.
I am 23. I do not have a lot of time.
What is wrong with me. Why do I keep strugging between the responsible thing to do and having fun.
Advice? Dear Kate M
Here's some advice, and I am going to break my own rules and talk about myself for a second. I hate it when people relate to their own experiences in sittuations because not everyones is the same and their advice my not be relevant to your sittuation, but, I wish someone had given me a bit of advice in my life and some encouraging words. Here goes...
I am 33. I have been confused about what to to my whole life and nothing puts more pressure on a person than having to choose a direction in life. We have this notion that we have to choose a path, stick with it, be successfull, have direction and be sure not to make the wrong choices. There is nothing wrong with you. You have a lot of passions in your life by the sound of it, a lot of things you you want to be doing all at the same time. This can be confusing. The first thing you need to do is get the notion out of your head that time is running out. You are 23! Sheez! The whole world is still going to unfold before you! Things you haven't even considered! Don't look too far ahead in this life, you will miss out on what's happening in the present! Focus on now. You have no control over the future. You sound like you are an intelligent and motivated individual and no matter what you will make the right decisions at the end of the day. You just need a little direction, a map of where you should go. You say that you are scared of loosing that "free" feeling inside. At some stage in our lives we all go through this. It's called growing up. As you adjust to this reality that you have to become more responsible and leave behind the young and care-free days of the teens, it can instill some fear and anxiety. It places a enormous pressure on a person to get direction, to become something they are not familiar with. You definately have two personalities in yourself that are very different: One seeks adventure and free spiritedness, the other is a regimented disciplined side. You are 23! You love to travel! I have dreamed of being a pilot all my life and have just started flying lessons recently. I wanted to go to the airforce but my grades at school weren't good enough. I became a Paramedic instead. Now I am burnt out and that career has ended. I have a family and 2 kids! I still don't know what I want to do! I am hoping to become a commercial pilot still! I will be 35 or something but hey! Life is the best story and adventure you will ever have! Focus on one thing and achieve that one goal, then move onto the next thing. That way you will make sure you achieve the things you want to. Set goals. Have a plan. Go and see a career guidance counsellor, undertake the Jungs personality test free on the net, get some advice from a professional. Do it now though, to calm the many racing thoughts in your head that are making you confused. The truth is we change all the time as humans. Our thoughts. Our goals. Our needs. Our wants. This is normal. Flying will take you anywhere you want to go. It's the ultimate adventure. I can't tell you what to do. Nobody can. Only you can do that. Just slow down, don't rush. You have LOTS of time. Just slow down. Do one thing at a time. There is no magic answer to exactly what you should do, but do what you love. Do what you will enjoy. There is nothing worse than doing a job you don't like. It will kill your spirit. Choose the path that you will have the most fun in. It will make you happy, and happiness is the best thing on earth. Go see a counsellor! Good luck with your journey! Listen to the song by Baz Luhrmann called Sunscreen. They are words you need to hear. Good luck :) Do whatever you love to do. Whatever it is, you should be following your passion. You know, even before I opened this up, just from the title, I felt an issue about freedom, that I saw in your second point the issue about losing it, and it is clear that is the real issue. Do something you love that doesn't oppress or hinder your sense of freedom to still make choices and correct decisions for yourself. |
