Funeral Etiquette....who is right here?

Earlier this morning, my manager's mother-in-law passed away. I let the staff know that he would not be in due to the passing. Now, the office is asking about the wake and funeral arrangements, and everyone thinks we all should go to the services to show our support. I disagree. Few of us have even met his wife and kids, and our relationship with him is mostly business. I feel that grieving the death of a loved one is an extremely personal thing, and I'm sure the presence of strangers (essentially) at the services would not make the family more comfortable. I suggested sending a sympathy card and fruit basket, and letting my boss and his family grieve privately.

What is the better choice here?

Clearly I know that anyone CAN attend....I just don't think we SHOULD unless we are close to the family.

I recomend sending a big thing of flowers. If this person is your boss I doubt he wants everyone to see him cry while he is mourning the loss of a loved one. I think this is a personal time and he should be able to grieve with his family and not have to worry about his staff seeing him vulnerable.

It depends on if you respect your manager or not and if he respects you as his workers or not.If he does not respect you it is very likely that he could not care less if you attended the funeral or not.The feeling is mutual i am sure.The decision also depends on how well you know the manager.If i did not respect my superior i could not care less if he himself passed away.

You decide the right choice.My choice would be neither my presence at the funeral nor a card from me and again it depends on my level of respect for my superior or lack of.

Your manager is the one to ask this question to.

Regardless, the office staff should give him sympathy card(s) of course, and ask what they can do at work to help him during this time.

ADD: Funerals and wakes are as much (if not more) important for the survivors. I agree with you, the wake is probably more for family. Attending services, however, would be a showing of support to the entire family, and IMO not a breach of etiquette.