Please read my letter below and let me know what you think. My deadline is tommorrow. Thank you and God Bless.

August 6, 2008

Dear Office of Financial Aid:
My name is ______and I am writing to appeal my suspension from financial aid. My first year at State University in spring 1997 was an awfully disastrous effort. Sadly to say, I was neither focused nor ready to devote the time and the required attention to my studies. In fall 1997 I raised my GPA to 2.62, but did not return to State University. Instead I enrolled at the Technical College where I pursued an associate degree in Office Systems Technology. Again my attempt was unsuccessful due to family obligations, the death of my grandmother and lack of money for my tuition and books. In 1999, I enrolled in a free program at Job Corps Center where I successfully completed the Business Office Technology Certificate Course. In the year 2000 I entered the workforce working at the local hospital and later at the pediatrician office where I am currently employed.
My dream has always been to become a Nurse. At this stage in my life, I am very confident, focused and willing to do everything in my power to make my dream become a reality. This time I will obtain and maintain above the minimum G.P.A. requirements. I have taken steps to ensure my academic success in the future. I recently went part-time on my job so that I can completely commit myself to making a better life for me and my children. I have tutors consisting of Physicians, Nurse Practitioners and nursing students to help me through the demanding courses of Nursing. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is to me.
Please allow me the opportunity to receive financial aid for the fall of 2008 and help me make my dream come true. I will attend and pass all of my classes. My education is of ultimate importance to me. With your assistance, I know that I will graduate from State University with an Associate of Science in Nursing, with honors.
Thank you for your time and consideration of my request.
Sincerely,

The letter is just fine. You must remember that, if your financial aid has been restored, you absolutely must pass all your courses otherwise you'll be out in the cold once more.