Should a boyfriend or girlfriend have a say so in the discipline of someone else's child?

One of my close cousins has decided to end her relationship with this guy because he and her thirteen year old son just don鈥檛 get along. She didn鈥檛 get into all the details, but that along with the other issues they were having just became too much to deal with. However, I know her son and he is used to being the center of attention so he probably purposely rebelled against the man and caused some of those problems. She also has a seven year old daughter, but I don鈥檛 think there were any problems with her. I do recall her saying that he said her daughter is too spoiled too. Her son is very spoiled 鈥?by his father, her and both of his grandmothers, and has a smart mouth. When her boyfriend didn鈥檛 agree with how she handled certain situations involving her son, she would get mad. She would tell him that it isn鈥檛 his business how she raises her children. I kind of disagree with that to a certain point. He was living with her and paying bills too.

I really feel bad for her because she just can鈥檛 keep a boyfriend. It鈥檚 partially because of her and her demanding ways, but it鈥檚 also because of her kids. The truth is, they are spoiled, but her son is entering his teenage years and has that 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not my dad鈥?mentality. While I don鈥檛 agree with a boyfriend or girlfriend discipling someone else鈥檚 child (unless they have agreed on that and have been dating for a number of years), I think it鈥檚 absurd for people to allow their children to disrespect their boyfriend or girlfriend. Also, I think it sets a tone for the child that they can get away with disrespecting that person because it鈥檚 not their parent. I mean, it鈥檚 really none of my business, but I know several people who KNOW their children are out of line but they鈥檇 rather put the blame on their boyfriend or girlfriend. What鈥檚 your take on this issue?

I think it is an issue that should have been discussed from the time they were to begin living together. I think the natural parent should have the final say on any discipline, but I don't have a problem with a verbal reprimand at the very least. Children get as much or more at school from their teachers when they are out of line. I think it should be discussed with the children as well as to what behavior is expected from them right from the beginning. They should be taught to speak respectfully and politely. Then, if they are rude and disrespectful, they should be corrected on the spot. My brother had a problem like this. He had a girlfriend with two daughters for a few years. They lived together. He helped them with homework, took them to practices, attended school events, gave them an allowance, but was not allowed so much as to give them a verbal reprimand if they were disrespectful to him. To me, that showed she didn't respect him either by allowing her children to disrespect him, and by treating him like a child where he had to wait for her, so he could tell her what they had done.

In a common law relationship the "new guy" has to have disciplinary rights. Not 100% but when the 'crime infringes on the "new guys" turf he should get to dish-out the discipline. It can never be physical. Ever. The kid will have no respect for the "new guy" if he isn't in on the discipline. Its all about respect. No physical discipline from the "new guy"s

I'd rather be alone than have someone tell me how I should raise my child. Unless I ask for his help, I'll be damned if he should interject in the way I raise my child. Granted, I wouldn't let my teenager disrepect him either. That is if he has truly earned our respect.

Absolutely NOT. She should focus on raising her kid. She can get a boyfriend when her