NO TROLLS: Why is your subculture like this?

First off, I am not here to cause trouble. I just want to understand something. Who ever you love is your business and I have nothing against that?
Secondly, anyone who posts an answer that is not related to the question or Violates Guidelines will get an unwanted surprise.

Okay for the real question:
I am under the impression that the homosexual society is centered around hedonism. In media you appear to only care about sex, physical beauty, and material wealth. As well I seems you are ethnocentric to your own cultures. Now tell me, is this true or am I generalizing?

Well then can you explain your answer?

Sorry sweetie, you're generalizing. But that's something I can totally understand given the media portrayal.

I'm gay. But what I care about isn't sex, physical beauty, or material wealth. What I care about is my partner. I love her and all I would like is for us to have the same rights as any straight couple. That's what I want for all homosexual people, for all heterosexual people too. I don't believe that being gay is better than being straight, it's just the only thing that works for me personally (although I do agree with you that many homosexuals, like heterosexuals, are ethnocentric).

I wish our society would just settle down on the topic of homosexuality in the media so that we could focus on the world's real problems- disease, famine, war.

Every life should be considered equal, and as such, everyone's personal choices about how they will live that life.

"But McBean was quite wrong, I'm quite happy to say,
the Sneetches got quite a bit smarter that day.
That day, they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches,
and no kind of Sneetch is the BEST on the beaches.
That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars,
and whether they had one or not upon thars. " Dr. Seuss

don't base your opinion off of media. you'll always find yourself sorely mistaken.

What you're saying is more that generalizing...it's just plain wrong. I suppose most people get ideas similar to what you have suggested because the media always picks the most outrageous displays at gay pride parades, etc. That said, sure there are some who may behave in that manner, but by and large the gay community does not. A parallel would be to say that all heterosexuals go to strip joints, and bugger anything that walks...that's not true of the majority of heterosexuals just as what you described isn't true about homosexuals.

I'm not sure what media you are referring to, but homosexual "culture" is on no way hedonistic. Gay people are just like you. We have relationships (which statistically are longer and more stable than heterosexual relationships,) we are contributing members of society, and we live perfectly average, functional lives. As far as ethnocentricity, homosexuals are no more ethnocentric than any other group of people. Religious groups identify with other members of their religion. A member of a race may identify more with a peer of the same race. If you are labeling a gay person with gay friends as ethnocentric, than a woman with female friends is ethnocentric. If you are referring to a gay person's interest in gay rights, than any person with political views favorable to their individual lifestyle is ethnocentric. The entire problem of homophobia is centered around a misunderstanding. We are JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. We want the same things, we live the same lives. Unfortunately, we are persecuted for it. That recognition is neither hedonistic nor ethnocentric. We just want equal treatment and rights. Is that so much to ask?

If you go to Dlist.com on net and SF on street, you gonna understand the answer will yes...we pretty much go to the goddess of venus (beauty) We are more critical than our straight counterpart considering appearance...Being ugly in gay male world is a curse, they gonna have wait a longgggg time to make it happen.

is not true... i like guys and I'm just a normal dude...i cant stand the scene or the "gay culture" i don't even think there's such thing as gay culture... u probably think that bcoz the gays that u see are those that go around life waving the flag .. but I'm not like that and I'm sure there most b alot of ppl just like me ......

The real problem is that it is not the homosexual society being centered around hedonism, it is that the media is centered around hedonism.

The media will portray any subculture that way. It attracts the attention of the viewer. If you look all entertainment media is based around sex, money and wealth.

The general media is based around cliche. Texans don't wear cowboy hats all the time and speak in exaggerated southern drawls. Christian women don't grow their hair down to their butts and wear long skirts all the time - nor do they psychologically wear down their husbands and control them.

Modern media is limited to either shocking people with something new or falling back on old favorites.

For the gay man to be loose, materialistic and effeminate is always gauranteed to earn a laugh. Many women will also "relate" to these characters - from the mouth of a woman, before I get nasty comments - and thus earn a big fanbase.

However, the truth is that just like heterosexual cultures vary, so do homosexuals.

Now, I will admit that I am loose. But, so is every other guy I meet regardless of race, gender, or religion. I knew one straight guy who would get a girl drunk and have sex with her, then go back to the bar to get another one.

However, I know quite a few homosexual couples who close, loving and tender partners. They only want each other, and nobody or nothing else.

Try checking out the TV series' the L Word and Queer as Folk. The different characters each relate different aspects of ANY relationship.

From the swingers, to the "dream marriage", to the angry divorcees, to the lost, confused youth... you'll see a wide variety of culture in those characters, and a decent media representation of the diversity of the "homosexual subculture".

Firstly, "Who ever you love is your business and I have nothing against that?" I bloody well hope so.

Okay, for the real answer:
You are under this impression because the media, very conviently, makes all groups of people seem to be a certain way. There is the generalization that whites are wholesome, family minded folk, even if their families are amusingly disfunctional.

There is the general assumption in the media that most blacks are impoverished, criminally minded, usurers, pimps, drug addicts, and that only a very few of them drag themselves up to a respectable middle class level of the socio-economic heirarchy, and that they do this by acting "white."

There is the assumption that straights are non-hedonistic, unfashionable, earnest, and moral pillars of the comunity.

Then there is the assumption which you brought up. Let me tell you, it is utter hogswash, every bit of it.

Because every group, white/black, straight/gay is all the same. Some good eggs, some bad eggs, and host of eggs who's goodness or badness depends entirely upon the day.

The vast majority of the gay men and women I know (and that's quite a few) are not hedonists, not obsessed with physical beauty, and most of them are working class and fine with it.

It's much easier to write characters for television when you have a clear cut set of basic assumptions or stereotypes to play off of. It makes the writing process and figuring the character out much easier, and that is why homosexuals all seem to be queeny, flamboyant, and shallow.

(incidently, stereotyping is not necessarily a bad thing, it is actually a very basic human thing to do. The only time stereotyping becomes a problem, is if you refuse to accept that people within a group cannot/will not ever be anything more than the stereotype. And I am not acusing you of that.)

Now it is true that homosexuals prefer the company of homosexuals, but this is generally true in cultures/sub-cultures. It's a very basic "stick to your tribe" attitude that is prevelent in all groups/cultures. Stick to what you know, there's less explaining necessary, it's just more convenient.

And this may be particularly true of homosexuals, because of all of the ignorant bigots out there who at best hurl nasty invecitive at us, and at worst, tie us to posts and hurl stones at us.

Hope this answers your question.

well you're right and wrong here. Everyone's different. Based on you're description of my 'subculture'... then i'm not a very good gay. Just like my straight counterparts and roommates (lol), i can just roll out of bed, slap on my work uniform and head into work. I'm not centered around physical beauty, however I do take care of myself, who said personal maintenance and hygiene was bad?? As far as material wealth? Well I was kicked out of my house because I love my boyfriend, and I'm 18 years old living on my own. Money is important to ME because I have to pay rent and my own bills now just like the rest of the world. Being 'fabulous' and 'flossy' and glam doesn't appeal to me. I just want to make my rent payments on time each month. Sex isn't the most important thing in my life. My boyfriend is. Okay so being ethnocentric? Who isn't? Who doesn't have pride in their families and friends? Their school? Country? religion? I consider some of my friends better than my own family. I was kicked out by my parents. I was picked up off the ground by my friends. A number of my friends are gay... I take pride in my family, my gay family. Media DOES portray VERY flamboyant guys on TV, which, not all of us are like that, in fact, many of us? You couldn't tell even if we held hands in public lol, and the gay pride parades and such? Thats kinda like basing what americans are like by looking at a circus, cuz thats what they really are in all honesty, they're just one big, gay (colorful!) gay circus, where everyone gets to participate :)

None of this was said in a demeaning or negative tone, just slightly defensive :)

Wow. hey hun, you know what you should do? I think you should try to put yourself in another's shoe or perspective for once. I think its really stupid how it is almost as if we are to ask for a special right or privilege to love someone you love. Only because heterosexuals are percieved to be "normal" in society. Imagine if you were forced to like girls, what would you say?

Would you say that the heterosexual society is centered around hedonism? Well, I'm sure the media shows that heterosexual people only care about sex, physical beauty, and material wealth. I mean, look at the ads, commercials, magazines. Isn't that what the media centers on? Besides, it is only human nature to promote sex, beauty, and materialism.

And you said something about being ethnocentric? I think the majority of the homophobic heterosexual people are ethnocentric. Alot of heterosexual people are ethnocentric. People in the gay community is only asking for acceptance, asking to have equalled rights, asking for equality, asking to not be discriminated, asking to be able to love whomever they want to love. now let me ask you something, is that too much to ask for? "Ethnocentrism: Believing that one's own culture is morally superior, and thereby misrepresenting others." Seriously? Honestly? I wouldn't tell everybody that homosexuality is the way to go. We accept everyone the way they are-either youre straight or gay or whatever. People should be more accepting and open-minded. To me, I think using the words "hedonism" and "ethnocentric" sounds really silly. What do you think? and yes, I think you are just generalizing.

(sorry if it sounds like im using a really mean tone of voice. I didnt mean for it to sound like that. :) :P)

you have a good reason to believe this, and part of the answer is in your question.

The media does focus on the hedonistic and sex, because if the report about a lesbian accountant who drives a fuel efficient car, or a gay man who raises organic apples....nobody is going to watch, buy the paper, etc. The reality is, there are A LOT more people that are living unspectacular lives , than are in search of the "Fabulous"