My husband promised he would help me get a computer for a new job I have.?

He has known about this for about 6 weeks now and even pushed me to try for this job. He knew it would involve getting a new computer and he promised he would help.
I waited as long as I could but finally had to go to one of those rental centers to get one because I couldn't do anything else. This is exactly what he didn't want me to do since he knew I would be paying a super high price for it. (per month) When he asked me where and how I got the computer I told him it was none of his business since he fell back on his promise to help me. He did as he always does and turned the blame onto me saying I never gave him the specifics as to what I needed on the computer. He doesn't even know how to turn one on, so I never gave him the specifics.
Who is right here? I am just angry that he puts the blame on me after he promised to help me.
Thanks to all.

Oh I did ask for the cash over and over. I told him I needed $400 to $600. He knew that all along.

Dear 123,..... yes you are right to be angry with him, he knew but did he step up to the plate to help you , no,......... he just make a promise then doesn't keep it !!!!!! I guess doing this the way you did,.... will for sure it will cost more, but hey it's YOUR computer now, you asked for help, and no one came through for you, I'm sorry to hear this!!!!!! When someone said they would help they should keep their promise !!!!

ok, tell him what computer you need Right Now
tell him to go get it
now
then see what he does

Why didn't you ask for the cash of what you need for a computer, its still a nice jesture, and that would of helped, or he drive you to a best buy and have fun together,
Your both wrong, good grief

sounds like you were better off talking to your dogs and cats lol/your right he is the jerk in this!!!!!! I have an old computer you could have it/

Yes I think you are right. If he was so encouraging on you getting this job, and he knew what tools you needed, then he should have gotten off his ***. Now doing the rent thing isn't so great but when you have no choice you have no choice. Tell him if the job doesn't work out that you can return it. Nothing lost.

Um, why couldn't you just go buy one yourself? What's his is yours, so as his spouse, his money is also your money. He doesn't know how to turn a computer on, and you left it up to HIM to buy one?

Healthy married couples should SHARE the finances. Both should have access to the couple's bank account, and both should have equal say in all financial decisions. That you have to ask your husband to give you money is somewhat worrying.

And what's with this "I told him it was none of his business" nonsense? You're husband and wife, not fifth graders having a fight on the playground.

To be honest, I think you need marital counseling even more than you need a computer.

You...for giving such a flippant answer to his question when he asked where you purchased one. Couldn't you have said "I really had to have this for my job and time was running out. i needed one desperately and you hadn't purchased one as you said you would.

But..:'none of your business'? Sure hope you aren't looking for a career with the Diplomatic Corps Miss Sensitivity.

I would call it equal him for not asking and tou for not telling.

He promised he would help and what did you do? You say you waited. Did you come to him for advise, ask him to shop for a computer with you, etc.? I think your husband is hurt that you don't trust him or don't think he could be helpful. It's not a matter of who is right, it's a matter of showing respect and gratitude for his offer to help. So he doesn't know much about computers, he still wanted to help you. You could have made it easier for him by explaining what you needed or looking around together. It sounds like there was no cooperation here. Maybe you gave him the feeling from the beginning that you didn't think he would fulfill his promise and there is nothing more discouraging for a man than to feel his wife doesn't believe he will do what he says. It takes the motivation right out him and makes him feel useless. Then you end up having to take care of things yourself. It's a vicious circle, don't you see?

Tell him you are sorry that you misunderstood and that you only went to the rental place because you needed it right away. Give him some specs and tell him you just can't wait for the new computer to arrive so this one can go back to the rental place, give him a big kiss and go back to work. The ball is in his court now and you can do your job.

I might quietly search out a site that sells refurbished name brand computers and give it to him saying a co-worker or friend told you they got a great deal there.

Computers are cheap now days. You can get laptops for $500 or desktops for $300.

You didnt do anything wrong. You ony did what you had to do because your husband didn't come through with his promise to you. That isn't right. He is putting the blame on you to cover up his guilt for coming through for you.
This guy sounds like a cowrd! My husband pulled the same crap on me too! He would push me to take classes on-line, buy something, or take a job that would require me to have to buy new clothes all with the promise to help pay for it!
Well he never kept his word and I put up with for over 7 years.
You shouldn't have to justify to him or anyone else why you would something.
Trust me, he is never going to change either-these type of men don't because they are selfish and self centered.Do not let him bully you with his empty promises!!!

Your whining is making the fillings in my teeth ache. It is time to be a grown-up and ditch the "How You Neglected Me" scorecard.

Tonight, with all the calmness and respect you can muster, sit down with your fella and discuss the computer. Something like: "Honey, a while ago you offered to get me a computer and we both did nothing about it. Now that the job is here, I had to rent this machine and its a real money-suck. Could we get together soon an buy a computer? I would really appreciate your help."

Don't dredge up the past. Don't blame. Don't sulk. Don't dwell on "who is right here." Instead, sweetly (even if it kills you) ask for his help and be grateful when it is given. With this new behavior, I'd bet the barn your new HP is hours away.

Portia

OMG Are you married to my husbands twin who was separated at birth? Your husand sounds exactly like my husband. You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and he is 100 percent wrong. Been married since 1979 and EVERYTHING is my fault. He just retired and OH BOY. I could tell u stories from now til kingdom come. I asked for a computer for years and years and he said I didnt need one. So one day, I went out a bought one. He refuses to get off it. To answer your question, U R right, he is wrong and he is a husband plain and simple. It makes me mad just thinking about it. How long u been married?

We all have issues with our mates or significant other. It's okay to be angry but do not nurse your grudge. This causes a rift between the both of you. I know right now you are speaking from your angry place but this will pass and sooner if you communicate and relate to your husband in a positive way.
I am a counselor in relationships and I do understand what you feel. Ours is to forgive, love unconditionally, and compromise. Tell him your disappointment but work things out with your honey as soon as possible. This is only temporary stuff, love is eternal!