I think i am going crazy ,please help me?

I Never wanted work for someone else in any office and start your own office and small business not caring for anyone
cause you are going to live this life for your own sake and not for anyone else , never listen to family ,relatives ,friends
and strangers for any thing and only do things which you are sure about doing and being successful in it,No use working in call center , or any kind of marketing job and u will be shocked that only these two kinds of work are available for me with my qualification and at 24 years of age its not my age to study any higher and become a proffesional as all my options are closed apart from marketing and bpo jobs which i dont feel are worth doing in this birth , i would rather quit my life cmpared to working for any company in any job besides relocating to another place for doing a job is worse than torture for me , as i dot even feel its worth to work in my own home town for any company , i dont want to be a part of the corporate rat race , and i would much prefer to work as a driver if i am supposed to work for someone else but will never work in any office , to hell with the corporate life and the corporate rats as i would say my mind says that whatever is in my mind is supposed to be written down to feel lighter and reduce tension and also it helps to be stored as my mind has become fuzzy coz of depression and my short term memory is gone with the wind and whatever i think become vapur and evaporates in thin air so i am writing about my life in this electronic format so that no one can read it in this world except me my mind has tried to find so many alternatives to earn money and keep myself and my parents happy apart from a job life and have done so many courses but whenever i think that my life will be in a corporate prison i drop my interest in that thing i dont know what kind of games my mind is playing with me or it is that i am plain different from the rest of the world who are happpy doing corporate work and still happy and smiling , but i am afraid cicumstances or my personality is different from the masses and i feel now i am in tight corners and cant see what i will be doing in this life The same thing has happened with the business world where i am supposed to invest a huge amount of money without potential profit and a big risk of financial losses which looms around the corner after investing the amount which i cant afford to lose at any given point of time in my life , so my mind wanders in the thoughts that is there any kind of business which i will enjoy enough and will make a decent living out of it without investing a big amount in it whenever i lie down on the bed i start thinking and relating myself to some kind of work which is gaining me money but i dont see anyway apart from some small time business because i dont see myself doing any job for someone else and i cannot think of starting a big business with a big budget people are excited while they go for giving interviews in companies where they will be treated as commodities that make money out of it(them) and i feel like i am a fool to be giving an interview in such places and this is the place where my brother my family and even my parents are pushing me to go where i am treated as a piece of bullshit i have even decided that if my brother forces me to go for any interview or my family forces me to do so i will quit this life with the help of carbon monoxide or hanging my neck ,
I am not saying that i want to dedicate my life to spirituality or become a guru or a hippie but the only thing i want to
say is that i also want to earn money and run a normal household but i dont want to work for someone else in any knid of
company but will earn with my own talents and own hard work in this life not everyone is the same or perfect many people are working for someone else like a rat or some people are happy being rich and not working at all while others are self employed and working for themselves and still the rest are hippeis or drug addicts or criminals and not to forget the rest who are in th asylum so not everyone on this sick planet are damned to live thier life with a preconditioned notion and no society can make its imprints on the life of a man , a man is free to choose his own life , his own work and his own destiny and no one can force anything on him unless he allows them to dictate his life with thier preprogrammed thoughts which the society brainwashed them with such fallacies for its own selfish needs i know that many people that know me whether my relatives or neighbors feel that i am abnormal or strange but i am afraid i cant do anything about it ,just now a thought came into my mind that i can start a pet shop and went away but i avoided it , sometimes i feel that My thoughts are going to kill me and my mind has stopped working and is not the way it used to be when i was younger,

This is not a question ,please i want to tell people bout myself as i feel light to share my life or these thougths will drive me nuts , so only read the story if you have time , and no compulsion on anyone , but this aint no question .......period

i think if you want to start your own business then you need a bank loan for that you hav to hav colateral. do you hav that? also my hubby is a business man. it is hell. he is very rich but he doesnt hav a life, day and night he is on the job. he has stress attacks and he needs medicine to sleep. the money is great and he calls all the shots but he has no life. we miss him always. he has to go to factory or abroad even in the middle of the night. there is no routine, no relaxsation and always high stress,. sometimes he wished he could just work from 9 to 5 and leave all his worries behind at work.think about it...do you want a family life or money?you cant have both.

Was there a question?

Why are you making everyone read that long ***$ thing for? Where is the question?? I think you already are crazy...

my answer would be to have time for yourself

i would have surely helped u out but ur problem is tooooo big to be read..... pls try one more time asking question writng detail in short....

im sorry i lost interest after the first paragraph, i hope you get the answer your looking for,thanks for the 2 points anyway.

Sorry, mate. About 1/8 of the way into your senseless dissertation I started going crazy. Can you provide the condensed version, please?

I think u need to go to the doctor bud.

What was the use of that confusing, frivolous frivolity? There is no question and you are wasting your time and energy. Anyone who would even read an eightm of that useless waste of matter would be deranged.

how about just stepping in front of a bus, that would have saved us all a lot of time trying to read this mess....

Like the others I have no clue what your question is but it seems career-related so I'd suggest you get a life coach.

you are depressed thats for sure

Yes you are going crazy

You are mad.

I agree with mot of the others,your Question? was way o long and you do ramble,I think You need to se a dr. if your thoughts are that spaced out.Hope you get some kind of help.

I hear you. Having said all you have to say, is there anything you would like to do about it?

find a good deliverence ministry.

oh my ..I guess after all that typing you have figured it out for you self.