Is she or is she not??

My best friend I feel is using me. She has no car and I got her, her day job. Which now she has brown nosed so much that I feel left out at the meetings. My boss doesn't even want to talk to me like he use to do. It is always about her. My work ethic has increased trying to show that I can keep up witht the work load, but nothing. She still gets more files and such. She was suppose to be my secretary. She has never been in this business before. I have for about 10 years. She also works at another place and I have heard the same there too, that she is a brown noser. We also live togother as roommates. I pay for groccies, gas for the car (which she uses the most), car payment and car insurance. When we go out I pay too. She know I am not fiancially stable, however she get mad if we don't go out every other weekend. She admits to being self centered. I am being a horrible friend and complaining or am I being used?

Start making her pay for her own share.There is no reason why she cannot support herself,since she is obviously employed by the job you got her and her other job.As for her getting mad,make a tally sheet of what she has cost you in car stuff,meals,groceries etc and if she starts getting snarky about it, hand her the list and tell her she either pays up or shuts up.I know it's tough, but she is walking all over you and you need to put a stop to it.As for the job, either talk to HR or your boss.I know it's tough to do, believe me, but things will be better in the long run.And if there are still job issues, worse case scenario:talk to a lawyer about discrimination.Good luck!

I would honestly say she is not.

Um, yeah. Why are you financially supporting her? Draw the line now.

Sounds like you are allowing yourself to be used.

cut her off. she even admited her faults.

Since you have to wonder, you already know the answer. Yes she is using you, but its your fault for allowing it. She is just living. You just stop doing all that you do, make her do for herself. As far as work is concerned, don't worry about what she is doing or who's *** she is polishing, just be concerned about your job and do your thing.

Aside from the job issue, which is a different matter alltogether, she is definitely using you.

yep, she is using you and most likely sleeping with the boss....

Kick her butt out and tell her to fend for herself.

She may not be cutting you out at work intentionally but otherwise I think you are getting used. She may not even realize what she is doing, but you have to talk to her.

It is time to get this person out of your life. Start making plans to move, get a new job, whatever. But don't let this person control you through guilt. If what you are saying is true, she is getting a free ride, of course she doesn't want it to end but she can't truly be called a best friend or even a friend.

I won't say it will be easy but it will be worth it. Figure out what you need to do to cut the ties so you don't get stuck with unpaid bills, etc. and don't feel like you need to share everything that you are doing.

Good luck.

Doesn't sound like she is being a friend, but it also sounds like you are allowing her to get by with all the stuff that she is doing. If you want this friendship to continue you are going to have to sit her down and talk with her. Maybe she feels like you are doing some of the same things to her. Always talk before you assume.

If you cannot see the reality of your situation with this person... you need to seek outside help to learn how to look at things... She is NOT your BEST FRIEND... you may think from your angle she is... but from her side, she sees you as a supplier... She is a parasite... and your are her life's support meal... GET RID OF HER!!!!

Well if you are being used you are definatly allowing it to happen. First off, cut her off the funds. Who cares if she gets mad if you don't go out and pay for her.... tell her to spend her own money for a change. And try going out without her, so you ddon't feel obligated to pay for her. Also I would let her know - nicely- that is she wants to continue car pooling with you to work that she needs to give you a set amount of gas money every pay period. If she doesn't stick to it and have her find her own transport. As for her using the car all the time, let her know that if she doesn't replace the gas then the car is off limits. If she has a set of keys and you "ground her" off the car, make sure you get her keys during that time. I am a lot like you and have a hard time saying no and I often find myself in the same situations..... because of my never ending giving nature, I have lost my apartment and many of my belongings. It's time to watch out for you. If she gets upset just explain to her that she needs to contribute, and that it's only fair. If she moves out then good riddance... you're paying all the bills anyway and then you get the place to yourself. Good Luck!

Jeeze, could you adopt me too and support me? Tell this chick she has to start paying for things or get out.

You should probably tell her to move the ffuck out and take her selfish attitude with her. You are better than that but remember...people will take advantage of you if you let them - it's human nature in a way - survival of the fittest. But you should definately find some other friends and start sticking up for yourself. It's one thing to help out a friend, another to support them and let them continue their insanity. Trust me, people like her will never be able to "be there for you" like a best friend should. Because when the time comes that you need her and it's not a good time for her, you gonna be without a friend by your side.

With friends like that you don't need no enemies...stop being so stupid and get rid of her.