Passport application?

Dear Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money

if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have

This made me laugh so much and reminded me of one of the reasons why I left the U.K. and moved to Spain, only to find that bureaucracy here is ten times worse ! ! ! ! ! ! ! To live here and buy a house, car, caravan, boat etc., you are required to have a NIE number. The only trouble is in order to obtain that all important NIE number you have to leave your place of residence at approximately 4 a.m. in the morning (or earlier), travel over an hour, find the appropriate government building in Alicante (horrendous in itself). Take a ticket from the ticket machine, which more than often than not is out of order. Wait in a queue until your appropriate number is called, approximately 4 hours (if you're lucky). Have your form stamped, make your way to the bank with precious form, where you need to pay for the privilege of obtaining the NIE, have your form stamped by the bank as proof of payment, then go back to the end of the queue and wait all over again, only to find that the office shuts at 4 p.m. and you are the hundredth person in the queue, so no luck today. Repeat process again tomorrow. Phew ! ! ! ! ! ! - - - - - - - - and to answer your question, it's called PROGRESS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Dear Irate British Citizen,

You are being issued a one-time-use Passport to get out of the country and stay out.

Pissed off Minister!!!

Fancy that. Bureaucracy knows no humanity.

Hope you get to go the beach soon.

Very good Story.

I totally understand your situation! When I was applying for my daughter and I to move here to Norway, I filed both on the same day, at the post office, with assistance. Therefore everything was correct. A week later hers came in the mail, and a nice big letter for me stating they didnt have enough proof of my Identity. Them please tell me, how did my 4 yr old get one, IM HER MOTHER. Its rediculous! I called and flipped out saying whats the issue and I got answers ranging from 'you haven't held your drivers lisence long enough' to 'are you sure you weren't married before?' After numerous people and having to send in mine and my entire immediate familys whole life stories from the time we were all born, it turned out to be due to an internal error