Pencils Up...... Ready? Go!
1. You know honey, I'm starting to think you DO have beans 4 brains. Beans, Beans.... Beans4Brains. Hey that's cute, and sometimes appropriate!
2. Work, Work, Work... that's all i ever do. OMG!!! Enough with the flippin' paperwork already.
3. Well look at you, stinky face, what's with the frown? Bad night?
4. Well, that sounds like a fun little game.
5. Apparently, her boss was pretending to be a woman.
6. *ring ring*.... *ring ring* hello? Thank you for calling ______,
this is ________, speaking, how can i help you? *sighs* They hung up.....
7. Well, all i know is she faxed photocopies of her butt to the Chicago Branch... next day her office was cleaned out, even took the paper-clips.
BONUS: I think you are confused, There's "Beans" then there's "Beaner" and then there's "Bean," they are NOT the same person. **have fun!** (oh, and this isn't homework so, please no comments about it being homework!) Oh yes, and keep it in good taste! 鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏鈾?/div>
3 months ago
The telephone was driving him insane. The moment he hung up from one call, it rang with the next. * ring ring * ...*ring ring* hello? Thank you for calling Hormel, this is Barney speaking, how can I help you? * sighs* "They hung up..." It had been that way since the national news had announced the recall of the company's Spicy Turkey Tex Mex chili. For crying out loud! A few people get sick with salmonella and the whole world goes crazy! If the phone was bad, the paperwork was even worse. "Beans, beans, beans," me muttered. "All we ever have is BEANS!"
As he drove home from work, the news announcer started in again. "...and Hormel is recalling 50,000 cans of its..." "STOP!" he yelled, shutting the radio off. " I swear, if one more person mentions this...this...nightmare tonight, I'm going to go completely insane." He was pounding the steering wheel now. He swerved into the adjacent lane, almost cutting off a little old lady in her Chrystler. He took a deep breath. "It's okay, Barney. Just get yourself home, have a double scotch on the rocks and land in the recliner." He focused on that thought for the rest of the ride.
As he got in the door his wife Emma greeted him. She made a face. "Well, look at you, stinky face, what's with the frown?" Bad night?" He nodded slowly, afraid to say anything. "C'mon Barney, spill the beans. What's the matter, Honey?" He almost couldn't stand it. "Work, work, work...that's all I ever do. OMG!! Enough with the paperwork already!" He buried his face in his hands. It was true, he WAS cracking up! He imagined his wife laughing and saying, "you know Honey, I'm starting to think you DO have beans 4 brains." He hummed to himself, then said in a sing song voice, "Beans, beans...beans 4 brains. Hey that's cute - and sometimes appropriate!" His wife gave him a strange look. "Honey, I think you'd better come and sit down. You don't look so good." He did as he was told.
Emma returned with a double scotch. Ahhh! Just what the doctor ordered. "I just hope he gave me some refills," said Barney with a giggle. His wife looked at him expectantly. "Well, are you going to tell me about it?" He sighed. "Okay. I've got some good news and some bad news." Emma said, "tell me the good news first." Barney said, "I got a promotion today." Emma brightened. "Well, that's wonderful news!" Barney frowned. "Uh oh," said Emma. "Now tell me the bad news." "I got a promotion today," said Barney. "WHAT are you talking about?" said Emma. "You are not making any sense here!"
So Barney told her the story. He and Rhoda had both worked for Frankie. Frankie was a stylishly dressed, statuesque business woman with a no-nonsense manner. It was the shock of his life to find out the SHE was really a HE. "Rhoda was fired. What an idiot!" "Barney!" Emma said, shocked, "I always thought she was nice. What happened?" "Well, all I know is she faxed photocopies of her butt to the Chicago Branch...next day her office was cleaned out - even took the paper clips." "Well, that sounds like a fun little game," said Emma sarcastically. "That's not the half of it," said Barney. "Frankie was in on it, too." Emma clapped her hand to her mouth. "Oh....and it just gets better," he said. "Apparently her boss was pretending to be a woman..." Emma let out a little squeak. "....and HE took photocopies of his butt, too. I'm not exactly sure what was going on, but it sounds pretty kinky to me. Since everybody's BUTT but mine is now history, guess who gets to be the fall guy for the recall?" he said. Now Emma finally understood.
The next day, things only got worse. The press had somehow gotten his name and were having a field day with it. They had quickly turned "Barney" into "Beanie". The phone calls kept pouring in. "....hello? No, this is not "Beanie". I think you are confused. There's "Beans" then there's "Beaner" and then there's "Bean". They are NOT the same person...and NONE OF THEM IS ME!!" he roared, hanging up. He had finally had it. "I'm blowing this bean business!" he said. With that, he walked over to the copy machine and dropped his drawers. He grabbed the copy and shoved it at his secretary. "Here! Fax this to Chicago for me!" he said. "I quit!" Then he stomped out, slamming the door behind him. |
