Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.. Very funny JJ lol Ha, ha! Very good : ) Thats very funny And Clever- Thankyou. he he he LMHO. he he Those are brilliant. Thank you. hahahaha...5 excellent lessons These are great! post them wherever you can! Star for you! Haha, very nice!
Especially the priest one! LOL If you don't post credit to the author, you could be sued. L M A O...excellent..!!! those were great! lol! all are excellent but i liked the sales rep one the funniest.cheers :-) Pmsl awesome
star All are wonderful. Passing them along to the appropriate people to share in a laugh.
Wow, what's with all the "thumbs downing" going on in here?
Sandy :O) the last one is very true, i liked that moral the best All very good points told in a very funny manner! lol these are funny have a star Those are the morals to their stories what's yours?? lol 鈾?/div>
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Glad your back Jim you were missed!! Still laughing my Dear!! lol LMFAOOO!!GRATE MAN GRATE !! Haha! awesome guud one Hahahahhaaaaaa....Fantastic...loved them. like m .lol The first one is hilarious!
Hope I can remember it at parties... I loved 4 and 5, they were all really good!!
Thanks for sharing!!
LOL!! * happy new year little irish puggy x keep up the great work jim x so entertaining x my favourite was the genie x ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10 lol, their funny I only read the $800 joke. Excellent! |
