My parents are fighting but they won't divorce.?

okay so, here's the deal.

my dad works 24/7. he travels on work Monday-Friday, and on the weekends, if he comes home, he either sleeps eats or works on his laptop. he is insensitive and treats my mom, my brother, and myself like slaves.

my mom works hard, but she works from 8AM-6PM and when it's 6PM she shuts her laptop and hangs out with us. (both of my parents work for the same company, just different branches of it, and they work remotely out of an office in our house) i love my mom, but i don't really know anything about my dad.

so, my mom (not to mention my brother and i) have recently become fed up with my dad's behavior and she talked to him about divorce. so, he pulled that emotional crap that he does EVERY time my mom confronts him, so he is supposedly going to take my mom and himself to a marriage counselor. my mom always says she is going to get a divorce, but she never does. i hope she's serious this time, b/c this situation is bad. how do i handle this?

oh yeah, we have told my mom that she shouldn't stop the divorce just becuase of my brother and i. we said that we are alot happier when we're not around our dad.

They probably think they are doing you a favor by "staying together for the children". TELL THEM you wish they'd get a divorce. It's hard, and sucks at first, but in the long run, everyone will be much happier. Good luck!

Unfortunately the divorce issue is your motheres choice not yours. I do not feel it is ground for divorce that your dad doesnt pay attention to the rest of the family, I think going to counceling with probably solve the communication issue,
Let your mother decide it is her companion. Do not get involved in couple麓s issues. You will only get hurt by being ignored. Good Luck

Tell her less talking and just do it. I'm not a big fan of marriage counselling as I find it's a waste of time and money that could be better spent elsewhere.

Like you say your father pulls that "emotional crap" on your mother so she needs to pull one on him and show him she's serious.

When I was 13 (and I was a mature 13) I wanted my parents to get a divorce. My mom was unhappy and I didn't know my dad that well either. She told me everything about her life and marriage and I was like her litte confidant since I was little. She said I'm the only person she's ever "lost it" in front of. It was cool that she trusted me, but over time, it wore me down and made me trust HER less. She left him with my blessing and encouragement and HE ended up with custody, despite my wishes, because he makes the most money. I realized that divorce stinks way more than I thought it was going to. Divorce is like when someone dies, only you never get over it because it never goes away. There is no closure and it sticks with you the rest of your life in some way. You are shuttled back and forth, or someone gets cut off. My dad was SO hurt and so were a lot of others in my family. It made me really hard, stoic and to this day I can't show emotion in public. Divorce also makes kids and teens defensive adults. It's not the divorce that's the worst thing, it's the legacy and all the things that come with it. After a divorce, it will feel like every battle in your family and life is fought over the same danm thing. It brings up other issues. They re-marry, they date and you may hate them too, they are unhappy, they regret, they don't talk, they speak through certified letters, and they can't both go to your graduation/wedding etc. Divorce may sound great now, but it brings its own hells. I know our families aren't the same, but that just means that your family's divorce is going to have it's own special never-ending issues.

It may be best for your parents to divorce, but I would say not to come to this conclusion so quickly. If your parents can work it out, get counseling, and if your dad is willing to put more time in with you guys or change jobs, it's better than a divorce. It sounds like this is a pretty broken marriage and that probably won't happen, but speaking from experience on a very similar experience, I wouldn't fight FOR a divorce. Honestly, duck your head down and see this as a learning lesson on how to love both parents unconditionally. Sounds like you are in the middle of this big time. Good luck with everything and I hope everything turns out for the best, especially in the long term.


There is nothing you can do. Your father won't listen to your opinion and your mom will only want to hear words in favor of her decisions. BECOME SWITZERLAND. Listen to your mom, but don't speak badly of your dad from now on (you'll feel guilty later, believe me.)

WOW sounds like what my life was...

Dad created his own company made millions wanted to retire in the mountains. Mom was a nurse. Dad for the most part didn't do much with my brother and I. Mom was the one that was always there for us. Dad had his own little life that we pretty much weren't part of. The only time I got to hear my dad say "I love you" was because I was an exchange student in Venezuela and we were hanging up the phone. And it actually shocked both my mom and me. Anyway Dad didn't want to pay Taxes in one state so mom, my brother and I had to move to another state but my dad stayed in his retirement dream home cause that is what he wanted. And my parents would fight all the time. They were only happy when there were in seperate states. I used to tell my mom she was happily seperated, she would still argue no she was still happily married but she knew that after my brother graduated high school they were headed for a divorce and it was going to be a messy one.

Unfortuantely my father died in a plane crash with his business partner and 2 friends when I was 17 years old. 6 months after we got moved to the other state. so I didn't have to deal with the divorce. I just had to deal with the seperation of a different kind. I'm 31 now, I still kinda miss my father but I would have still encouraged my mom for the divorce, no matter how messy it would have turned out.

How do you handle it? One day at a time, Try not to take sides, and don't take anything your dad says to personally if your supporting your mom. He's just hurt and lashing out, eventually he'll get over it.

Your Mother must be having an incredible hard time, but she should not rely on you so heavily. If she and her children are not getting what they need from your Father she should suck it up and make the decision that is best for you, that is her duty. I know this sounds harsh, especially because you love your Mother very much and want to help her but you shouldn't have to deal with this and you can't! My parents got divorced when I was 11, I put up with 7 years of hell with my Mother's new husband but I feel stronger for it. My Dad is with a women I love and I have beautiful half brothers and sisters who I couldn't live without. How do you handle this? Remember that this is just the place you were born into, your future is out there and you can shape it and the family you will make however you wish. This is only a small part of your life.

I would divorce him, no ones happy but him. If you guys are happier when he's not around, I'd really go for it