I have BPD & on low days i struggle with anger & to be nice to people, i act aloof, distant, whats the answer?

i also have ptsd im 30 now and ive had a very tough life....suffered abuse, bullying....missed out on life, love , happiness..
missed out on being employed, having relationships, gaining qualifications etc.........it never happened with me.

ive made great progress with my anger and rage, im waiting for psychotherapy....and cooperating with the mental health services.

im basically building my life from scratch......i want to leave britain for good...attain a good computer job.....but i have many hurdles and am at alot of disadvantages....

man its depressing at times a constant challenge.

there is days though where my moods spiral into depression...i become bitter and disheartend about things.....i get paranoid.....i get angry easily....act aloof to people....and really struggle to be nice..

my anxiety and panic plays up and i struggle to even leave my flat..

when my aloofness and anger does show through i feel like ive failed with people...let myself down...because i try so hard

to be nice and civil to people..

somdays i just cant handle life or certain people and i get angry towards them or feel it..

Man, looking from the inside out you may feel like you haven't accomplished much or have a long ways to go... but I have the advantage of being able to look from the outside in.. and I have to say.. in the course of your questions over the last few months.. I think you have really started to make some progress! You seem much more composed, you have set goals and a general since of where you are currently. Keep working with your mental health professionals, because I'm not joking... I see the improvement from this end.

And, even though this isn't what you want to hear... it's true... have patience.. it takes the average person a while to accomplish the goals you have set... and you have a couple extra hurdles.. But you are on the right track!

i also have BPD and havent moved from my bed for 2 days except to come on here.i can understand your struggle i really can,but like pip said you are making good progress it just seems to take so long for us,and i think sometimes we have a right to feel a bit disheartend its not easy,so keep trying and hope you feel better soon.

Are you taking an anti-depressant? some people with BPD and especially PTSD say that helps a great deal in evening out the moods, making you feel lighter.

And you haven't missed out on anything, you're just getting a later start!

I have BPD and some days the best I can do is just not open my mouth. It works well. I know people on my job think I am nuts, but oh well. Just remember all people have some degree of mental illness. So we are not alone.

make an appointment with a Reiki practitioner and have a treatment,it balances the body`s energy fields I find it works very well(Non invasive)

are you under current treatment by a medical professional for any of this? do you take any medications? are you in counseling?

Get some medication. I did.

WHAT WILL BE YOUR RESPONSE ON JUDGEMENT DAY??? i had a good fulfilling life,took risks and failed some and won some,lived it the best way i could.....or i wasted 85 years of my life being miserable and crying.....look i habe BP and it sucks bad...but theres nothing i can do about it but recongnize my moods and behaviors and i find ways to control the anger,the sadeness,cuz i know more about it now , what i could do, the impulses, and when i feel like im gonna do it, i can stop it better. ive learned to deal with an up and down life.

While you are waiting to get the medical help that you think you need, please purchase a DVD by Louise L. Hay called "You Can Heal Your Life". You might just be surprised at what this DVD can do for you and you might just change your life into what you want it to be without the meds and frustration of dealing with the medical establishment! Please understand that you CAN change your life (seems like NOW is a good time) and you ARE worthy of the best in life and it is up to you to make that happen.

Pip is absolutely right on! I have noted the same change in you, as well. You have more internal integration and organisation. You are finding and using your energy to focus on what is important to you and you are getting strong enough to ignore people who bother you. It is happening slowly, but it is a definite thing which is changing inside you.

You are also getting much better at nailing what is really bothering you. Your questions are far more direct. Every time you nail something which is upsetting you, you get a little bit of your old energy back again. You are slowly rebuilding yourself. This is not wishful thinking on my part, I have watched you progress with it for about a month and a half now.

I'm glad to hear that you've kept contact with the mental health services.
I also notice that your perception of your problems has shifted slightly from where it was a few weeks ago. You have accepted that some of what happens is a reaction to how you behave towards others, rather than the paranoid ideas you had about somebody else telling people not to like you. This is really good progress, and you should be pleased. OK, there will still be bad days - remind yourself how you have improved and keep working at it. I hope your therapy starts soon, I'm sure it will help you.
Have you been to the college yet to find out about a course to start getting some qualifications?
Good luck

You have a difficult condition to treat. The suffering is great and i am sorry for that. It is not something you brought upon yourself just genetic bad luck. The doctors will help you cope so you should do everything they say. I think there is always something inside you that knows when anger is inappropriate. In your case it is alway inappropriate so when you feel it coming on, take some time out to cool down. If you cannot then leave the situation. I think in a while new medication or techniques will be available to make life more pleasant for you, maybe even a cure.

When things happen in the past, we do hold onto them and they continue to have an adverse effect on our lives. We get into a habit of reacting to things in a certain way and behaving and thinking in a certain way.

If you were to look at situations from the past differently, for example, replace anger with forgiveness (not always easy I know), replace fear with a sense that all will be well and begin to trust, this will help you.

It's time to find the real you, to view the world as you want to. Trust where you haven't trusted before, socialise in situations usually you wouldn't, set yourself a target for a career and approach it positively in the knowledge that you can achieve.

Best wishes

I was the same about 15 yrs ago, on meds, doing the shrink thing. Then one day as I lay there at a real low point I had this amazing thought, that lead to other amazing thoughts.
I thought "I am responsible for my own happiness from here on in". Then I thought about it more and thought " others may have stole my past happiness but only I can give them my future happiness too and let them take my whole life away fro me".
I then started to rebuild my life and my future. I went to collage & university, I stopped feeling sorry for myself because there is a lot of people worse off and plenty that will never get to live a full and happy life. I have a life to live and god damn it I am going to live it.
I fought off the depression with every ounce of will power I could summon and I won't let the thought back in my head at all, not even a little bit because I fed my depression with my own negitivity.

They say that depression is like a little black dog, a faithful and ever present companion. I say kick that little black dog out and be your own best friend.

Good luck friend I hope you have a great life and the best of futures.