Which away message is the best or funniest or most rude?

1. If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.

2. He is YOUR god, they are YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell.


3. Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.

4. Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded, bigoted asshole.

5. I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy.

6. Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.


7. "Obstruction of justice? No sir, we prefer to think of it 'avoiding complications'."


8. Just Friends phrase - I don't just want you to mourn the loss; I want to remind you of it every day. I want you to suffer. I want you to envy. I want you to die slowly, a bit at a time. And I want you to smile and thank me for it.

9. Depression n . - Anger without enthusiasm.

10. Amor vincit omnia. (Love Conquers all)

11. Hello, this is slidey the sidekick. Here I am ... brain the size of a planet, and what does my owner have me doing? ... taking messages on AIM.

12. Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?

13. Hello. Here are my answers to yesterday's messages, in order of their arrival. Yes. Tommorow at 5pm. Duct tape and piano wire. Tonight's safety word will be banana. No. Thank you

14. So now I know the things I know
And do the things I do
And if you do not like me so
To hell, my love, with you.


15. There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last it grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

16. Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate. - David Pratt

17. I am currently occupied, give me a couple minutes to get frustrated and then I'll get back to you.

18. Talent does what it can. Genius does what it must. I do what I get paid for.

19. I'm drunk...I'm armed...I'm off my meds. You had better make your message really, really sweet.


20. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

21. Hello, you have reached my automated answering service, your IM will be answered in the order in which it was recieved, your IM is number 5,293, please hold, your IM is important to me

22. This is an alien being from Alpha Cenatrei. I have been sent to earth in the form of an away message so that I might mate with your computers. You may not know it but as you read this, I am having sex with your computer. Leave a message, but please IM me again later because I am VERY VERY HORNY.

23 Tonight's weather, dark, continuing mostly dark tonight, leading to widely scattered areas of light in the morning.

24. I'm not here, I've gone out to look for myself. If I come back before I return, please tell me to wait.
hey wud up aimers??? as u can see i aint here rite now. im off doing sumthing fun instead of siting on my *** n talking to u!! i do have a lyfe ya kno unlike you cuz if ur reading diz den it tells u aint gotz a lyfe! i think u need to go get a lyfe!

The little yellow thing next to my name should mean somethin'... :-P Maybe not to someone who has the brain capacity of a goldfish though. Have a bad day.
I'm screening my IMs to avoid someone I don't like. I'll IM you back soon and if I don't that person was you.
You see this away message is really sad but funny at the same time. The sad part is that you expect me to reply to your message. The funny part is that
I'm sitting looking at the screen laughing.

13. Hello. Here are my answers to yesterday's messages, in order of their arrival. Yes. Tommorow at 5pm. Duct tape and piano wire. Tonight's safety word will be banana. No. Thank you

between 1, 5, 13, 21 and the last part

5

someone's got too much time on their hands....