Wow, some of you must really love to annoy people in public because I've had at least three emails asking me to give advice on annoying people in malls, stores, and WEDDINGS?!
So I tracked this down, it's a long list, but the more the merrier! XD
Thanks for reading, guys!!! Enjoy!!
Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shlock.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Heckory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream 鈥淢y SHOELACES! AAAGH!鈥?br>
Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger Queen...
....but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they鈥檙e 鈥渁stronaut food鈥?
Follow patrons of D. Balton鈥檚 around while reading aloud from Dianetics.
Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it鈥檚 a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 鈥淵ou mean you really can鈥檛 see it?鈥?br>
Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.
Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.
Test mattresses in your pajamas.
If you鈥檙e patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
Sprint up the down escalator.
Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the 鈥渉idden picture鈥?
Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a
At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there鈥檚 much meat on them.
Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.
Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.
Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 鈥淚 see London, I see France...鈥?br>
Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
Play the tuba for change.
Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of
Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.
Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will 鈥済ive you a really wicked buzz.鈥?br>
Ask the personnel at Peer 1 Imports whether they have 鈥渁ny giant junk made out of straw.鈥?br>
鈥淭oast鈥?plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.
Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.
Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing 鈥淪aved by the Bell鈥? Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.
Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are 鈥渓eakproof鈥?
鈥淧lay鈥?the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. Loudly.
Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. Squawk at your reflection.
Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they鈥檙e real.
If it鈥檚 Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap.
Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say 鈥淒omino鈥檚.鈥?br>
At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
Show people your driver鈥檚 license and demand to know 鈥渨hether they鈥檝e seen this man.鈥?
Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn鈥檛 turned blue yet.
Walk up the skinniest stairs in the mall with your arms out not letting anyone pass and walking really slow. Growl at anyone approaching.
Alternatively, link arms with a few friends and march up the most commonly used staircase, growling at anyone approaching.
Find one of the huge boom-boxes and turn it to some rock station. Then, turn it off and turn the volume all the way up. Then the next person to check it out will have great fun!
Set all of the alarm clocks in any of the Bed & Bath stores to go off every ten minutes on the loudest setting possible.
Buy the largest soda the stores have available, drink it down to the last inch, then stand behind someone while slurping up the remaining soda as loud as possible, when they tell you to stop it retort that you don't like to waste things.
Men, go into women's clothes stores and try on skirts, underclothes, swimsuits, etc. Ask shop assistants what they think (vise-versa for women)
Bring survial gear and "live" in one of the tents in a camping shops. Scream "Help" & "We're under fire" every 5 mins. Make battle noises as well!
Wear you swimming clothes and go swimming in the coin pool! Wear armbands and a rubber ring for extra effect!
Start a sing along in the middle of the mall.
Print lots of "Fake" money, go into the mall (second floor if available) and throw it all away.
Go into a pet shop and release all the birds, parrots etc. Screaming at the top of your voice "Be free my feathered friends" (DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 鈥?birds have beaks)
Follow someone with children around yelling "mommy I want that!"
Take the money out the fountain while swimming and hand it out to people, spend it or if possible throw it from the second floor (it might hurt someone)
Add strange growths to the giant lego men in the toy stores
Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren't looking.
Buy feather boa at a clothing store and hang on to the rail while waving it and screaming "Look everyone I can fly!"
Stand in front of the Gap. "Fall" in repeatedly. Threaten legal action.
When ever someone makes an announcement over the loud speakers cover your ears and scream "The voices...the voices...make them stop"
With a friend, speak in a different language (or make up your own) and make a seen, pointing at signs and people as if they were something shiny and new that you've never seen before. Pretend you're a tourist.
Walk right on people\'s heels and when they look back at you stop and look at the ceiling and when they turn back around, continue
See if a yawn really is contagious.
PERSONAL FAVORITE: Grab some friends and race from one side of the mall to the other.
Now, I personally don鈥檛 think there鈥檚 enough here, so I鈥檒l post a second one as soon as possible 鈥?it鈥檒l be on what to specifically do in the stores!! In the meantime, keep emailing me ideas 鈥?I love some inspiration!! OMG!!!
these are sooooooo sooooo soooooooooooo funni!
im in LOVE with them!
thnx so much for putting them up!
haha im so going to try these!
=D
teehee
ciao ciao <33 Test mattresses in your pajamas.
That one sounds very much like a stunt off the Chaser....You should watch that show...all unAustralians if you like this type of annoynig stunt stufff...Its very funny :P that is so funny - didn't get chance to read them all so if you've put this down sorry but you could go into the changing room - make some grunting noises then shout out oh no there's no toilet paper! My Good Gosh!! That's the most reading I have done in 3 months...
That was worth it...
It was Kracka-lackin funny!!! =]
HAHAHA!!!
[*] You have been awarded with a gold shiny star =]
peaacee =] ...This is incredible. haha....Im really going to take a few of these and have some fun...And I live in Minnesota the home of the "Mall of America" it's HUGE! so there will be no lack of space and or people/things to just have a few good laughs with :-) thanks Wow i havent laughed that hard in a while! |
